overdue poem.

how many have said they were there when she needed them?
how many really had to be?
only one.
who was the one who never could hear her?
who was never there?
the same.
and who hurt her the worst of all?
and who wont even speak to her?
who distances themself from her
and wont listen to what she has to say?
Who seemed a little unphased by everything?
Who clearly didn't truely care?

Who the hell are you to trick someone like that?
Who do you think you are?

There are songs that she'll never hear the same.
There things that she'll never think clearly again.

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and listen to her cry.
Then you say something to fix it. To make it all better.
For the time being at least.
You don't pacify and make an excuse to not speak.

MRS 5/29/07

prodigy child

so he's the self-proclaimed prodigy child.
the one that does everything right.
the one who excells in everything.
who can do nothing wrong.

he's the one that has just one purpose
and that is to outshine me.

because i am the self-proclaimed loser.
the one who screws everything up.
the one who can't do anything well.
who can't maintain herself.


MRS 5/29/07

you know

this doesn't even count
as artistic words
it's only me.
just talking.


----MRS

hurt like me.

i dont want to be dramatic
let my words be dramatic (brandi carlile paraphrase)
this expression isn't drastic
this: i'm finished with this drama

every day i see my darkness
but i want to see the light
but i'm living in this blindness
and ask hope to step aside

and it's a little bit ridiculous
i know i seem so needy
but i never did want to be
i dont want this to be about me

and i'm done now
this is the last straw
and i'm sick of everyone
and their condescending arrogance
and i want them all to hurt
so bad
i want them to hurt like me

[Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
("The Tide" - The Spill Canvas)]

and i've never seen heaven
wager that i never will
'cause i'm throwing out everyone
breaking that love
i'm distancing them.

so i can be selfish for once.
i want you not to care
cause i cant stand to think
that i could ever hurt you
more than this
because i am forgettable
no matter what you say
you'll be over this friendship
and i'd rather be alone anyway.

out of everyone i know, i'm the most scared to hurt you. you're the only person who has ever made me think that anybody could care and it hurts to think that anybody cares.

i barely know you at all and still i'm most scared of your reaction.

and this sounds stupid---i know
but i'm want to be gone
and i know it's hypocritical
but i'm scared of being missing
i'm done trying to cope
i have no good masks left
they're gonna see me and judge me
anyway, in the end.

she's so nasty. she's all dark inside.
look, she cuts herself
she must be screwed up in the head.
look, just stare at her.
keep an eye on her.
don't reach out to her,
just forget about her.

cause you'll never hurt like her.

crashing.

i do not speak to be taken to task
and i do not live to dwell on the past
i can not listen and not speak my mind
and i can not stand and not just crash

this is more than just friction
it's more than a drift
we are more than just waves
we are crashing harder

we're going down
shoot us down
we're falling and crashing
we wont take it back.


---MRS
5/2/07
((Yeah, I was thinking of Fall Out Boy songs. Can't you tell? "Sugar" and "You're Crashing but you're Not a Wave"))