breakdown honestly

When you painted me a picture of a fractured misleader
When you gave him all the shadows and the darkness of his eyes
When you outlined, for me, how not to be, why not to be and what not to be
When did you decide you'd paint me everything but lies?

Your hollow shell of humanity, stained with imperfection
Stares me down, my memory and I can't stand to look him in the eye.
I'm drowning in these broken illusions, thanks for clearing the air
My conscience hid the truth from me but you broke me down.
Perhaps because you cared enough?

Did I really need to see your true colors?
Wasn't blind infatuation good enough for you?
Can't I not dig deeper, please.
I'm sick of cleaning up the mess it leaves
When someone swims much deeper than I can even hold my breath.

I wish I wasn't so far involved, so here I'll try to run.
Break free before someone gets too attatched
And I'll be on my own.
And I'll be my imperfection.
I'll be my own best friend
Because you didn't work out for me.

You did that though. You opened my eyes to see who you were.
Who you had to be.
It's nobody's fault, it's impersonal, dearest,
But this is it.
I'm done.
I'm finally finished.

---MRS 2/16/07

And maybe some day we'll be better again and maybe we can be friends again. Maybe some day, I will talk to you. But until that day, I'm going to run from you. I'll yell at you, and I'll scare you. I don't want to, so I'll run from you.