hurt like me.

i dont want to be dramatic
let my words be dramatic (brandi carlile paraphrase)
this expression isn't drastic
this: i'm finished with this drama

every day i see my darkness
but i want to see the light
but i'm living in this blindness
and ask hope to step aside

and it's a little bit ridiculous
i know i seem so needy
but i never did want to be
i dont want this to be about me

and i'm done now
this is the last straw
and i'm sick of everyone
and their condescending arrogance
and i want them all to hurt
so bad
i want them to hurt like me

[Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
("The Tide" - The Spill Canvas)]

and i've never seen heaven
wager that i never will
'cause i'm throwing out everyone
breaking that love
i'm distancing them.

so i can be selfish for once.
i want you not to care
cause i cant stand to think
that i could ever hurt you
more than this
because i am forgettable
no matter what you say
you'll be over this friendship
and i'd rather be alone anyway.

out of everyone i know, i'm the most scared to hurt you. you're the only person who has ever made me think that anybody could care and it hurts to think that anybody cares.

i barely know you at all and still i'm most scared of your reaction.

and this sounds stupid---i know
but i'm want to be gone
and i know it's hypocritical
but i'm scared of being missing
i'm done trying to cope
i have no good masks left
they're gonna see me and judge me
anyway, in the end.

she's so nasty. she's all dark inside.
look, she cuts herself
she must be screwed up in the head.
look, just stare at her.
keep an eye on her.
don't reach out to her,
just forget about her.

cause you'll never hurt like her.