Space

she doesn't deserve to sit with the rest of them
outcast and miserable.
this isn't the life she was meant for
so why must she live with it?
and the cheats and the liars upon their crosses
and she's just sitting, watching, and counting her losses.

the stars will not vanish and leave her in darkness
so should she rely on them?
could she tell them her stories?

what if they whisper and what if they tell?
what if they leaked her all over the sky?

a friend of a friend of a friend could mishear it
and suddenly nothing is better anymore.

Nothing can ever stay better and it always ends far beyond worse.

so why should she tell it to the stars?


---MRS
11/30/07

a first.

it isn't good enough anymore to say what needs saying
i need your eyes to be open

"This cell has been crafted so lovely"
"I hate to dismiss you so unresolved"
"This jail is so empty"
"My captives are so wise, so witty."
"Does it bother you that they escape so unnoticed?"
"They always come back all alone, so distressed."
'Can it be so awful?
As bad as he says?'
'Of course, I will follow you everywhere
until you are spoiled.'

everyone is so the same.
their masks are always so transparent
if only they weren't so concerned...

beauty was not meant to be concealed behind temporary, garish facades.

-MRS
11/19/07

people so trapped in bodies

unintentional pain writes the best love stories
crossroads make the best climaxes
and if it were up to the hero
they would never decide.

---unfinished

"i want to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony"

"so this is love
and all along
i'd thought i'd found it
but i guess i was wrong
because nobody has ever
made me feel this good
about who i am
and what i'm doing
so thank you so much
for being my friend
and for treating me--
like everyone ought--
with dignity
with respect
with praise and admiration
thank you, friend

---MRS 7/28/07"

so this is love
and all long
i never knew
that you wouldn't care anymore
i never thought that you'd abandon me
and you don't care
you really don't care
and i know you wont change
and i know you won't care
you are just a facade.
and it sucks.

---MRS 11/15/07

ps. to all of my friends who read this, you don't know the person this is about. And it doesn't matter who it is about. It's just about a friend of mine. And when I say love, know I don't mean "love-love." Because you know I don't believe in that.

maintenance

i'm sorry if i'm broken.
but let me tell you why.
let me show you how.
and maybe you will understand.

i need somebody else to care
i need something
because this isn't working
i'm so broken
so breaking
and nobody notices.

there are other broken toys
i know
they need the same attention
but why do they get it?

who told you i was fine?
who told you i got better?
who told you you could move on now?

i want to be selfish now
because none of you are getting it
and i need you to.

because i'm sick of being sad.
and i can cry myself to sleep every night
but nobody will know.
nobody is there to see it.

restart the machine
over and over
until it starts to work
it keeps freezing
when you aren'ts looking
but you wont notice.

-MRS
11/5/07

i see no reason

some issues
make me mad
and upset
and i can't stand to hear it

i can't stand to hear
about all of their love
and all of the trust

when still, nobody hears me



why wont you remember?
why can't you keep your mouth shut
why do you even confide in people?

and nobody
who should hear these voices
is going to hear it.
nobody will hear it.

-MRS 11/5/07

a fever and friends

charmingly specific

no
it didn't ever get better

now finally someone does hurt like me
and now we are both in a mess

but it's still the same
because there is still an army to fight for someone

just like last time.

-MRS
11/4/07

"Break Myself" - Something Corporate

"I'm on fire
And the day is feeling hopeless
You'd see me burning
But the burning's turning smokeless
Soon I won't feel at all
No

It's electric the neon hurt inside your phone call
The layered sadness and the madness it revolves
Bringing down the walls where you found love
No

Well I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much

And now I'm static
As your sky is turning purple and gray
I'm learning that the further that I crawl
The farther that I fall, is that ok?
No

And you're in pieces
As your world becomes a rainstorm
You've got no shelter I'm a thousand miles away
If you survive the day you say you're leaving
You say you're leaving

Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much

Never again will we fire this gun
No never again you're the only one
No never again but you're already gone.

I'm willing to break myself
I'm not afraid

Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much

So much"

my sake.

i don't like this

this having nothing.

doesn't anybody ever feel this way?
don't they ever feel
like they just
need someone?

it doesn't matter who.

i don't care who.

but does anybody know
what i mean?
what I need?

i love a few to death
and i know a couple care.

but doesn't anybody ever feel this way?

i would have someone
but it doesn't quite count.
they don't really count
until they give a damn.

but it's okay
and i dont need them to
because all that counts
is what i know
and it pulls at my heart
and it pounds at my spirit
but they are peaceful and happy
they dont need me

i wont let somebody
suffer for my sake
i wont ever ask
that they do something for me

but to know that they would
and to know that they care
and to know that they realize
i just need them there
that would be enough for me.

do you ever feel like that?


-----MRS 11/3/07